View the situation rationally without allowing anger into the equation. You always have to remember that if you react with anger—then you've lost the battle.Step 3--Defusing their angerThe other obstacle to overcome is your counterpart's anger and frustration. These emotions are blinding them from seeing things rationally. Their primary focus is that they were wronged and now they want retribution—often from you. Think of their emotions like a pressure cooker on a stovetop.

There are two ways of releasing the pressure: (1) you can pop the lid and the have the contents explode out of the pot from the sudden change in pressure, or (2) you can engage the pressure-release valve and slowly let that steam pressure out of the cooker which will enable you to open the lid without injury. The same is true for an angry person. You want to hit their pressure release switch by using active listening skills. Listen and acknowledge this concerns. Engage them in empathetic responses by trying to walk around in their shoes.

Paraphrase back to them what they told you in your own words. You will see a dramatic difference in their level of hostility as they get to vent their anger.Step 4--ReframingNow comes the time when you must reframe their position into interests. Do this by first reframing them from an enemy into a partner. Then reframe all their personal attacks on you back on the problem. Then finally, uncover their interests behind their demands with nonconfrontational questions.Step 5--OptionsDiscuss options with them and get them involved in the process of thinking about possibilities for a solution.

You might have to present some various options that they have available to them. Strive for a cooperative effort to find mutually-satisfying options that will benefit both parties.Step 6--Letting them choose their fateEmpower your counterpart with the choice to make their own fate. Don't back them into a corner by telling them what to do. Human beings need control over their own life, otherwise they feel threatened. Let them pick the option that you both have discussed.

If they still fail to comply at this point then ask them what the possible consequences are if no agreement can be made. As a last resort, use your back-up plan as an alternative to the negotiation..