Comments on: What is your view on this piece of writing?

By: porthardygurl DUE aug27th w #1

porthardygurl DUE aug27th w #1 — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 05:53:59 +0000

While i see the potential for it to be a good piece of writing, there is much needed work. For instance: The following sentences are not sentances. They are considered what english teachers call "Fragment Sentences". In other words, the idea just drops off without a conclusion. Using the word "just" in the first sentence isn’t necessary, inless this sentence is not a first sentence as is actually part of a descriptive paragraph and while telling people what the book or writing is about, it is necessary to form whole paragraphs. For instance: Use 4 sentences to describe the first sentence which should be your main point in the paragraph. Also, there is room for grammer and punctuation correction.

Keep in mind, that i have given you the outlook based on a teacher’s perspective.
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By: Elli

Elli — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 05:27:59 +0000

well..he’d need to fix the grammar and is it for school ? I’d fix it to: This is just the first part of a mystery called Anguishing Skies. It’s about corruption in the news business and kidnapping, and of course, it involves a detective.

The writing itself is good!!
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By: Rosie ♥ Just Me

Rosie ♥ Just Me — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 05:15:59 +0000

Hmm … it’s very nice! It sure does "capture" some suspense!
References :
http://astrarose.wordpress.com/

By: ♣Read, Read,Read!®

♣Read, Read,Read!® — Thu, 25 Feb 2010 04:34:59 +0000

I think it's okay but some grammar issues.
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